What Mom Blogs Taught Me About Me

On the surface, it would be a struggle to find anyone less likely to be asked to advise Canadian Living Magazine on how they can most effectively reach their target audience.

I’m what some might consider the anti-thesis of a typical Canadian Living reader.  I’m a single, 27 year old male.   I work in music.  I leave my laundry to wrinkle in the dryer overnight.  I haven’t packed a lunch in over a year.
I still break limbs periodically on skateboards.

In other words, I’m more the type that Canadian moms (such my own) spend their nights awake worrying about than one they might seek advice from.

Always open to expanding my horizons, I was fully on board when my good friend Bianca asked me to partner with her on a social media development project for Canadian Living.  Given that my day job consists largely of helping musicians find their audiences online, it wasn’t thaaaat much of a stretch to assume I could do the same for a magazine like Canadian Living.

Yes, it might mean a lot of baby photos and arugula recipes, but I’ve never been afraid to at least expand my horizons.  And heck, I might even learn a thing or two.

Or  (dramatic pause)

I might even kinda like it!

Urban MomsBaby CenterRedbook.  For two months, these sites became my pleasure reading. Emphasis on pleasure.  I lived and breathed this “how to get your whites whiter” stuff.

Whether at work or hanging out with friends, my casual conversations over those months consisted of new ultrasound technology and moral dilemmas about the cleaning lady.

No, my friends and co-workers didn’t care for a second.  But I was totally surprised at how much I did.

the psychedelic world of Edie Sedgwick

I just discovered this really excellent band from the 1960’s called the 13th Floor Elevators thanks to Youtube’s ‘related’ technology.  Follow me:

start >>>>>

Andy Warhol Eats a Hamburger

is related to

Edie Sedgwick ConVersation w/ Andy Warhol

>>>>>>>>>

Edie Sedgewick dances to the the Pixies

>>>>>>>>>

which features the wicked tune “You’re Going to Miss Me Baby” from the afformentioned group.

and now I’m downloading the entire discography of the 13th Floor Elevators here.  And researching the work of Gerard Malanga, Edie’s co-star on the dance floor (who, lets be honest, totally steals the show).

And now you’re probably gonna listen, too.

This, my friends, is how the internet works.

groucho.

I starting following John Cusack on twitter recently, after flipping through the hyperexclusive ‘following’ list of Joe Jonas.

Tonight, he’s offering me vintage Groucho Marx.  I am literally watching the classic Duck Soup in its entirety.  Piece by piece, as curated by the chief of Championship Vinyl.

hip to be square.

I joined foursquare the other day.  Already I’m the mayor of both my house and my work!

At this rate, I’ll be runnin’ this shit by month’s end.

Only 24 years ahead of your time, Huey.

“the quietest over-packed house party ever.”

This past Wednesday, we at the MuseBox, along with the help (and home) of the gracious and gorgeous ladies (and Michael!) of Borden street, threw a bit of a pre- Canadian Music Week show in the living room of Borden street.  Thanks to performances by Language Arts, Megan Bonnell, and Sweden’s Hellsongs, it turned into a pretty magical evening.  And thanks to Mitch @ Southern Souls, there’s a pretty great 12 minute video of it (above).

In total, I think there was close to 100 people that came out, and everyone was very respectful and attentive to the performers.  EYE Weekly came, and called it “the quietest over-packed house party ever.”

That was only true until Hellsongs came on, and threw down their Swede-pop takes on the most classic of hair metal anthems.  They ruled, and the party broke lose.

no time for sexy time in the girl’s room.

There’s a restaurant in Toronto that’s been promoting a Valentine’s Day weekend full of delicious food, romantic gifts, and slipping into the bathroom with your loved one for a little dessert – of the ‘bring your own condom’ variety.

According to their Facebook page and a whole bunch of press that has now spread worldwide, last week Mildred’s Temple Kitchen in Liberty Village announced that, between February 12-15th, they’d be encouraging their patrons to resist the socially accepted confines of waiting until the bedroom to have their Valentine’s Day plans come to a climax; instead inviting them to the unisex bathrooms to throw down some love juice.

From there, a bunch of prude Mommy bloggers and even more angry patrons-to-be began losing their middle-aged shit over the idea, in spite of the restaurant going to lengths to make sure it’s sanitary and sexy.  As a result, they regretfully pulled the idea, claiming instead ‘they were just trying to have some fun’.

Admittedly, I’d never heard of the restaurant prior to this ‘promotion’ and, as a 27-yr-old male who generally opts for Sneaky Dee’s nachos over picked spruce tip remoulade (though the ricotta gnocchi sounds pretty good right now), I’m probably not going to become a regular – unless this weekend affair were to turn into the restaurant’s modus operandi.  In other words, is there value to the school that says they should be catering to their regulars, not freaking them out?  Regardless, anyone claiming that Mildred’s invitation, which put an independent Toronto restaurant on the worldwide map, was a bad PR move clearly doesn’t understand the basics of consumer marketing.

I’ve always defaulted to the side of the rule-bender, so its expected that I felt slightly disappointed when I found the idea had been scrapped.  That there are enough people hell-bent to play it safe eternally to squash a fantastic, fresh concept like this demonstrates why many Torontonians kind of blow; in some people’s Toronto, there’s just simply no value in shaking things up.

the world’s best bums, unsurprisingly brought you to by American Apparel


We’ve known for a long time that the rules of objectification just don’t apply to American Apparel.  Being openly criticized for featuring intentionally youthful women, and with a ship-steerer who carries with him a history of sex-related allegations and requires his stores execute on his own aesthetic-based natural selection principles, it then comes as no surprise that they’d pull off something as blatant as a World’s Best Ass contest.
The contest has 450+ entrants, all sporting a different item (s) from the AA undergarment catalogue.  Despite the obvious ‘male gaze’ appeal, there are also a handful of male entries into the contest, most falling on the last couple of pages when sorted by ranking.

Despite its overtly misogynistic intent, it’s not the least bit surprising that young women across North America are submitting their home-made bottom portfolio.  The aesthetic that AA creates in their branding feeds directly into women’s inherent desire to be admired, and to be a little bit naughtier than mama might prefer.  This particularly contest carries that approach, but without risking dignity or respect by way of people actually knowing who you are.  In other words – It’s much safer than, say, webcam exhibitionism – until your ex boyfriend recognizes the unmistakeable way your cheeks swallow that black cotton spandex jersey invisi-thong he bought you last Christmas.